Getting Warm
Last week I had a conversation with one of my heroes. He just turned 80 years old, has built multiple business empires, and has the ability to communicate something profound in a regular conversation without knowing it.
In our conversation, we discussed the difference between good and great communicators and the effects of technology. In the midst of the conversation, he said something that I have been chewing on since.
The conversation: he said, “When you were still speaking full-time, to a very large crowd, four times a day, you were still out shaking everyone’s hand and communicating relationally. It’s like you made it personal to each of the individuals. You still do that, but through video.” Me, “Keep talking.” Him, “Good communicators make it about themselves, their latest product, etc. Great communicators make you feel the warmth like you are shaking hands.” Wow! That caused me to begin to reflect on all my communication habits. Here are just a few that I need to work on: (Knowing some don’t align with what “experts” will say)
Make it about the other person, or team: Ask a prompt that will get everyone engaged. (You can limit the time, but still make it about them.)
Listen & take notes on their responses. I know that AI will provide you with the notes, but… when others know you’re taking time to log into your mind something about their lives, it will make a difference.
Send them a personal note leading back to what you wrote down. Yes, a text is good, but a handwritten note on stationery takes an investment. (People still love a personal touch!)
Watch your countenance when you’re not speaking. Smile, nod in agreement, etc.
Be intentional about your posture.
Link things back to personal names as you share.
Help connect the dots with relationships.
Wear something that speaks to your investment in the other person or team.
Be well-groomed. When I am in the game, I’ll get my hair cut every 3 weeks. That way, it always looks fresh and consistent to whoever I am meeting.
Don’t be so robotic that people miss your personality. If you just make a presentation a “presentation”, you’ll miss the moment.
Fresh research is showing that people are looking for relationships again in a huge way. Allow technology to serve that reality, not steal the opportunity.
If you have a team helping you, make sure they're not robotic. It doesn't hurt their brand; it hurts yours.
Wrap things up in a personal, warm way. Make your follow-up the same way.
Sketch out some ways you can “shake hands” with warmth through video. There are plenty of phenoms of communication out there; that’s a huge blessing, now go win the relationship battle. One of my favorite things to watch is great communicators doing improv interviews. When you get them off their money-making thing, they don't know what to say.
Due to his retirement, I won’t mention my friend’s name, but thank you! And thank you to all the others who have continued to pour into our lives through the years. We wouldn’t still be dreaming big dreams today if it were not for you.
How do you communicate with warmth?
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